Girls and Body Image
By Cathi Rodgveller, M.S.

In an effort to achieve the emaciated look, they are doing themselves harm!

The girls in our lives are receiving a constant bombardment of destructive messages about their bodies. Media images teach them (and us) that their appearance is the most important thing about them, and that their appearance is never good enough. Because of these messages, girls are concentrating more on their looks than on their real life accomplishments. And in the effort to achieve the emaciated look which they are being trained to admire, girls are doing themselves real harm, physically and emotionally.

The $40 billion a year weight loss industry emits a continual stream of high-profile images which misrepresent what an "average" size woman looks like. In fact, the models in the ads we see are much smaller than average girls and women, and girls who attempt to look like those models rather than themselves frequently become casualties of the eating disorder epidemic that is sweeping America.

The thinner-is-better standard of beauty hurts us all. How? By distracting us from focusing on our real accomplishments. By making us despise our own uniquely and divinely diverse female bodies. By removing $40 billion a year from our wallets. By pitting women of different sizes against each other in the beauty competition, rather than us uniting against the forces which oppress us all.

Please don't let the weight loss industry and the physicians in its pay teach their values to our daughters, nieces, granddaughters, and all the girls in our lives. We have to take responsibility for all the messages we give to girls, through our behavior as well as our words. We are a potential source of sanity, accurate information (as opposed to corporate propaganda), and political analysis. For that reason we are honor bound to investigate our own internal fears of size, and to scrutinize our own behavior, so that we can clearly and congruently live the message that any size you are can be a good size and that people of all sizes deserve respect.

Here are six practical tops to help you put that into practice:

1. Reassure girls that the single, narrow standard of beauty upheld by the media is not something we want to strive for. We want to look like ourselves, to be happy with our own body types, and make the most of our individual assets rather than to waste time, energy, and money trying to look like the Calvin Klein ads.

2. Make your own life a model of the process of working to appreciate and respect your own real body. That sends the best message of all.

3. Emphasize that play, exercise, movement and fun are the right al all humans regardless of size, age, et cetera. Be a good role model by getting involved in something physical that you enjoy. If there are kids in your life, do things with them that will be fun for all of you like swimming, gardening, sledding ,dancing, baseballthe point is, do it for pleasure and not as penance for your waistline.

4. Teach size diversity. Teach kids (and adults!) That judging people based on size stereotypes is prejudice which is not OK. It is as important to teach kids respect for people of all sizes as it is to teach respect for people of all races. Prejudice is prejudice.

5. Speak up for any kid you see being treated unfairly or unkindly because of size. Wouldn't you do the same for a kid you saw being picked on because of gender, disability, or race?

6. Be an advocate for kids. If you realize that size discrimination is going on in your kid's school, contact the school counselors and tell them what's happening. No kid deserves to be tortured at school.

It's up to us to help the next generation break the cycle of hating their bodies. Our generation of women has already been down that path and we know where it leads us: to a women's culture obsessed with weight, food, diets, and surface appearances. We can do better for ourselves and our daughters, by learning to love and respect our own bodies and sharing this process with the girls in our lives.

Cathi Rodgveller is a middle school counselor with a master's degree in counseling and over 15 years experience working with kids in schools. She is available for school workshops and class presentations on Body Image and Size Diversity for kids and staff; also parenting groups, workshops and support groups for girls and women, as well as individual counseling. For more information, email her at cathi@cswd.org.