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In an effort to achieve the
emaciated look, they are doing themselves harm!
The girls in our lives are receiving a constant
bombardment of destructive messages about their
bodies. Media images teach them (and us) that their
appearance is the most important thing about them, and
that their appearance is never good enough. Because of
these messages, girls are concentrating more on their
looks than on their real life accomplishments. And in
the effort to achieve the emaciated look which they
are being trained to admire, girls are doing
themselves real harm, physically and emotionally.
The $40 billion a year weight loss industry emits a
continual stream of high-profile images which
misrepresent what an "average" size woman looks like.
In fact, the models in the ads we see are much smaller
than average girls and women, and girls who attempt to
look like those models rather than themselves
frequently become casualties of the eating disorder
epidemic that is sweeping America.
The thinner-is-better standard of beauty hurts us all.
How? By distracting us from focusing on our real
accomplishments. By making us despise our own uniquely
and divinely diverse female bodies. By removing $40
billion a year from our wallets. By pitting women of
different sizes against each other in the beauty
competition, rather than us uniting against the forces
which oppress us all.
Please don't let the weight loss industry and the
physicians in its pay teach their values to our
daughters, nieces, granddaughters, and all the girls
in our lives. We have to take responsibility for all
the messages we give to girls, through our behavior as
well as our words. We are a potential source of
sanity, accurate information (as opposed to corporate
propaganda), and political analysis. For that reason
we are honor bound to investigate our own internal
fears of size, and to scrutinize our own behavior, so
that we can clearly and congruently live the message
that any size you are can be a good size and that
people of all sizes deserve respect.
Here are six practical tops to help you put that into
practice:
1. Reassure girls that the single, narrow standard of
beauty upheld by the media is not something we want to
strive for. We want to look like ourselves, to be
happy with our own body types, and make the most of
our individual assets rather than to waste time,
energy, and money trying to look like the Calvin Klein
ads.
2. Make your own life a model of the process of
working to appreciate and respect your own real body.
That sends the best message of all.
3. Emphasize that play, exercise, movement and fun are
the right al all humans regardless of size, age, et
cetera. Be a good role model by getting involved in
something physical that you enjoy. If there are kids
in your life, do things with them that will be fun for
all of you like swimming, gardening, sledding
,dancing, baseball–the point is, do it for pleasure
and not as penance for your waistline.
4. Teach size diversity. Teach kids (and adults!) That
judging people based on size stereotypes is prejudice
which is not OK. It is as important to teach kids
respect for people of all sizes as it is to teach
respect for people of all races. Prejudice is
prejudice.
5. Speak up for any kid you see being treated unfairly
or unkindly because of size. Wouldn't you do the same
for a kid you saw being picked on because of gender,
disability, or race?
6. Be an advocate for kids. If you realize that size
discrimination is going on in your kid's school,
contact the school counselors and tell them what's
happening. No kid deserves to be tortured at school.
It's up to us to help the next generation break the
cycle of hating their bodies. Our generation of women
has already been down that path and we know where it
leads us: to a women's culture obsessed with weight,
food, diets, and surface appearances. We can do better
for ourselves and our daughters, by learning to love
and respect our own bodies and sharing this process
with the girls in our lives.
Cathi Rodgveller is a middle school counselor with a
master's degree in counseling and over 15 years
experience working with kids in schools. She is
available for school workshops and class presentations
on Body Image and Size Diversity for kids and staff;
also parenting groups, workshops and support groups
for girls and women, as well as individual counseling.
For more information, email her at cathi@cswd.org.
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